My little learner

Dear D (age 3),

I did not plan to do “school” with you this year. I believe most learning comes through play in the early years and was quite confident you would gain the knowledge you needed for kindergarten through the books we read each day and our daily life.

YOU have thrown a curveball into my “laid back” plans. Clearly, you desire more formal teaching so you had to begin it yourself.

Each day, for weeks, you sat at your desk and wrote every letter on the ABC write-on flashcards. Very quickly, you learned the name of every letter and how to write it.

“I am doing my school,” you would tell me.

Your sisters, excited to have a pupil, have taught you all sorts of things in the preschool they run. They read to you, play games with you, and even make crafts for you to complete.

Of course, I have had to change my way of thinking and include you in all of our Galloping the Globe activities. If they girls are making a book about daily life in Egypt, then you want to hop right in there with them.

And it is a joy to watch.

Admittedly, it has been hard to adjust to stimulating your mind with learning opportunities because I am still struggling to balance your sisters educational needs. Yet, each day we work it out one way or another and you continue to learn, grow, and get excited about the world around you.

It is a joy to have another “pupil” in our school. I love watching the excitement on your face as you write your name or copy words. You are such an enthusiastic learner and you bring that enthusiasm to our little homeschool.

I love you buddy and I can’t wait to watch your world continue to expand.

Love,

Mommy

Our crazy Fridays

This is Friday morning. For now.

Four children: 7, 5, 3 and 10 months

One stroller.

One pack and play for a napping baby.

Three backpacks.

Two lunch boxes.

Two diaper bags with food for the morning, diapers, bottles, and a ton of bibs.

One bag with mommy's lesson plan and teaching supplies.

This is every Friday morning. Arriving at co-op with everyone and everything in tow.

By 9 AM.

I had to capture it because it is now.

And one day I won't have to tote along so much.

Sometimes it is tough to cherish aspects of now. The lugging around all the "stuff" that comes with this stage is one of those aspects.

And I won't miss it.

And it is one of the big reasons I was ready for co-op to end. As much as we love it. I'll be glad to return in the fall when the pack and play doesn't have to return with me!

But I'll miss that precious baby who spent his mornings napping at co-op.

Keeping it in mind

When things get tough homeschooling my little ones, there are two stories that return to my thoughts. These aren't necessarily the most uplifting thoughts, but they are two statements that help me maintain perspective.

One
A friend of mine met a woman at a birthday party. The woman had been homeschooled through high school, so my friend started asking her about it. This woman was not planning at all to homeschool her own children at all. Her reason?

I never want to be as stressed as I remember my own mother being.

OUCH!

That statement has stuck with me. I try to remember it on days when things are getting tough. A stressed out, frazzled mom is NOT what I want my children to remember from our days at home together.

And in a weird way, this sad statement helps me at those moments. I am able to pause in my mind, back up, and pray. I have to give the moment and the day over to God and release MY agenda, which is often the cause of the stress.

I continually pray that our family will build fun memories together. It doesn't matter to me that my children homeschool their own children. But, I want their memories of our time at home together will be fond ones that they will cherish. I pray our time will solidify and strengthen our relationships instead of damaging them.

And this little statement helps me remember to keep giving my agenda over to God and resting in His plan each day instead of stressing over mine.

Story Two
I have been overwhelmed this year. Homeschooling with a baby, three year old, 5 year old and 7 year old has been quite a challenge for me. I have made some effort to seek out other moms with 4 or more children for encouragement and advice.

Recently I visited a friends with four kids over the same age span. But her youngest is now kindergarten and the oldest is 5th grade. I wanted to see how she ran the day, kept herself organized, and how things were set up.

Our time was great and it was so nice to see how things might look in 5 years. But at some point I turned to her and admitted that having the baby and three year old was so tough. I asked, "What on earth did you do back then?"

She smiled. "Remember, that is when I gave up and sent them to school?"

At that time, she had gotten so frazzled about homeschooling and it had brought out so much anger and frustration that she and her husband agreed to send the children to school.

I didn't know her at that time. When we met, she had her oldest daughter at home with her and was in the processing of trying to "convince" her husband to let her homeschool them all again. After months of praying, attending a conference together, and a year with one at home, they brought all 4 home again. And she is having a great year.

But that story acknowledge for me just how tough this situation is. There will be other challenges later, but the challenges that I am facing right now are extremely frustrating at times.

Frustrating enough that some awesome homeschooling mommies that I know threw in the towel for awhile. And that is OK. God worked it out. But somehow, knowing that honest truth that she shared with me has made me feel less alone.

This story is another one that reminds me to stay focused on God and rest in Him. I can't let homeschooling consume my mind. And I certainly pray it won't have a negative impact on our family.

This story also reminds me that God works in ALL situations. I may find a time that I need a break and He leads our family down a different path for awhile. That doesn't mean that I can't go back to homeschooling if it is my desire.

Just two thoughts that sometimes help me get through tough spots.

They help me to remember to rest in Him and let some things go that need to be released for the JOY of homeschooling to be restored.

Sister Support

K was having a rough time with her schoolwork. She was just plain frustrated.

There were tears. And there was a definite desire to just quit.

But she stuck with it.

And while she was working, her sister dropped off some encouraging words:


And then there were smiles.

Go Go Sisters.
Go Go Sisters.
They are the best.

Yay for "School"

I was helping my daughter fill in the "bubbles" for a Daily Math book she completes each day.

I happened to mention that next year she would go to the school to take a test that would require her to fill in bubbles neatly.

She got an excited look on her face and exclaimed, "You mean I get to go to school next year?"

*sigh

Have those moments?

Made me glad I wrote out that list...time to go read it again.

Better off with me?

This pregnancy has made me feel a bit nauseous and quite tired during the day. Sometimes I worry about the fact the kids are home with me instead of at school with a vibrant, energetic teacher and a room full of other kids.

I try to keep us going in math and reading as much as possible.

But the other day I found myself laying on the floor while the girls were playing. I mentioned math to K (age 6) and she said, "OK, but first I want to do a show for you." She proceeded to use a bunch of little stuffed dogs, some rescue heroes, and her dollhouse to perform a 20 minute self-created narration for T (age 4) and I.

She used phrases such as, "...and the dog scampered up the side of the house," and "He peered into the windows."

I listened to her story telling and her growing vocabulary while I laid there for 20 minutes. God used that time to give me an amazing sense of peace about her being home with me even in the midst of my exhaustion. It was a beautifully creative, imaginative, and fun use of her time.

After that, we continued playing and watched a show.

I decided there would be time for math another day. On that day, we enjoyed the creativity of childhood.

Schedule

So, at the beginning of the year I created a lovely daily schedule for us to follow:

Wake up and get dressed. Everyone should be downstairs by...
9 AM - breakfast
9:30 AM - morning chore (rotates daily)
10:00 AM - morning board
10:30 AM - snack/Read Aloud Time
- Literature and Activity (from FIAR)
11:30ish - Handwriting then Free time
12:30 - Lunch and PM chore
1:30 - Quiet Play
2:30 - Math and Phonics

Really, it looked so good on paper. But it has never worked out. Everything was going great initially except that Handwriting was moved to the afternoon with Math and Phonics.

Then the chores got to difficult to do with a toddler at my feet. They include bathroom cleaning upstairs on M, T, and R. It was never getting done.

Then bible study began on Tuesday AM's and Classical Conversations began on Wednesday AM's. That totally screwed up the morning because we had to be out of the house. Our Morning Board wasn't getting done on those days and neither were the chores.

I decided on Wednesdays we wouldn't do anything in the afternoon. CC was enough. You'd think I could get a chore done, but found myself napping from the busy day and then playing with the kids.

Then I realized that I have three children. The oldest one is 6. Not much about my days are predictable.

Quiet play time has never worked out too well.

Then I got pregnant. And TIRED. So everything fell apart. I have been consistent with math, phonics, and handwriting. I consider these the essentials of kindergarten. We backed off so much other "stuff" as we just enjoyed literature and some basic interacting with it.

Quiet time in the afternoon has turned into 1 hour of a TV show while mommy sleeps, crashed out on the sofa. (Did I mention this pregnancy has me tired?)

I guess I still like the schedule and hope to go back to it. I have NO goals of returning in 2008. I am going to take the holiday season easy as we do our Jesse Tree and study Advent. But I would like to kick off January with a return to scheduling.

Now, anyone have any good suggestions on how this works with little ones in your house? Especially the chores. I'd like to see them more involved, but it is tough to juggle!

Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

Let's go with the bad and get it over with....

Last week (9/1-9/5)
Lonely. That about sums it up. Wow. I didn't realize just how lonely I would feel and it was hard. Very hard.

I guess it kicked in big time on the girls first day of class. Clearly the girls did fine and we had a great time. But I was feeling isolated.

When other kids go off for their first day of kindergarten, grandparents come over, pictures are taken, friends call, and there is so much excitement. Well it just didn't happen that way around here. But we survived it.

My daughter, K, informed me more than once that she'd rather go to school. She let me know that she wanted to go to class everyday. And she made it clear at times that she didn't want to be at home. But she survived it too.

I was facing a few other issues as well, not directly related to homeschooling. They definitely impacted my mood and temperament.

I had NO doubt that this would be a rough transitional year for me. I am one of the only gals in my close group of friends who is homeschooling. I was expecting there to be change, but I wasn't really prepared for it. By the time we are done and I am ready to chat with someone on the phone for a bit, their children are just getting home on the bus and I know it isn't a good time to call. That is the time they have to transition back as a family, share the day, and get ready for dinner.

But I needed some friends to talk to. And I needed to discuss what was going on with homeschooling. And there just wasn't anyone that week...at least it was feeling that way.

And then all of this led to questioning myself and my ability to survive this choice. I also began to entertain the thoughts that K would really be better off in school. I was just SURE they were doing more than I could provide. I was SURE that she'd have more fun there. And it was getting me down.

So how about the good news?

God just knew the struggles in my heart and sent me support. At the end of the rough week a homeschooling friend came over to look at a computer program. Four hours later, I had finally talked through some of my homeschool struggles. She also asked me some really good questions about ME and they got me thinking...still thinking on those.

This week (9/8-9/12) has been so much better!

I went to a homeschool group for moms on Monday and it was just what I needed. In fact, another mom there shared some of the struggles on her mind. She is new to homeschooling and going through the same lonliness and transition with friends. It was great to hear someone voice the same struggle.

The talk that night inspired my week and set a perfect tone to it. I didn't feel so alone. I had a support network out there and I began to do what I do best...PLAN. I began to gather names of people to have some playdates with and friends to call when I need to exchange babysitting or voice a homeschool concern.

I set out to focus on the BEST things about homeschooling all week and boy did it help! Anytime we were doing something fun, extra-special, or unique to homeschooling I would mention it to the girls.

Isn't it great that we can color outside in the middle of the day because you are both at home with me?

Aren't you glad we can lay here reading together because you aren't in school all day?

I am so glad we can scooter to the Bagel Bin together on Thursdays! It's so awesome that you are home all day to do school, isn't it?

It kept me focused on the things we WERE doing instead of the things I was convinced that my kids were missing. I think it helped K (age 5) too!

Focusing on all that we were doing also helped me realize that we were accomplishing a TON each day and it was only taking about 1.5 hours. I began to embrace that fact instead of question it.

THEN I had a great night Wednesday night and some of the outside issues I was struggling with were worked out. And that was a huge weight lifted off me.

I have ended this week feeling refreshed, energized, and so ready to keep at it! God knew the perfect timing to send in some much needed support!

I'll sum up the fun lessons in pictures and such soon. It's been a good week!

A Needed Daily Reminder

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

Several months ago a blogging friend encouraged me with these words from Galatians. They have spoken truth to my heart daily ever since.

I have decided to commit them to memory. These words are a constant reminder to press on in the midst of weariness and frustration. I need this truth planted in the depths of my heart so that God can whisper it to me when I am struggling in this journey to homeschool.

Honestly, I need it in this journey of parenting, being a wife, being a good friend, and basically in EVERY aspect of my life.

But this year, I take it to heart specifically for my journey as a homeschooling mom.

Because just yesterday I was telling another blogging friend that homeschooling isn't as easy as it looked.

But I am pressing on to that harvest. Because God promises that if I press on, then I will reap a harvest. So I won't give into the weariness, but will turn to God for the strength I need to do good.

The verse has joined the ranks of the bathroom mirror. Because that is where verses go when they need to be planted in my heart. I'll begin my day with His Truth and end my day with His Truth. And at times when I am hiding from the kids upstairs in the middle of the day, I have a feeling it might just be the Truth I need to hear...

Two Weeks In

We've been easing into homeschooling for two weeks. We started with math, handwriting, and reading. I consider these the basics of our Kindergarten year. Art, History, Science and other subjects are important as well, but I wanted to get the basics in place.

So how is it going?

1. We quickly learned that these Kindergarten basics won't happen while D (19 months) is awake. He is just too distracting to accomplish any teaching. So we are accomplishing these skills in the afternoon and will save the other subjects for the morning.

2. We had our first big battle. My first born daughter (K, age 5), normally fairly agreeable, decided she didn't want to do what she was asked to do. She was asked to complete a worksheet in her, "Explode the Code" book which should have taken less than 5 minutes. For some reason she refused, then acted as if she didn't know how...and the battle ensued. It ended with her in bed for 20 minutes, where she decided to do the worksheet. After an hour which left me completely baffled, the battle ended. Things were better for the rest of the evening, and thankfully school was over for the day.

It wasn't our only battle this week. We had another today. I asked her to begin writing her first and last name on her papers and she didn't want to. She complained that she didn't know how. (which she does) And even when I offered to state the letters for her as she wrote, she didn't want to do it. Luckily it only took 5 minutes in her room and a little chat for her to complete the task.

I doubt that these will be our last battles either, but they have been a bit discouraging for our start to the school year. I guess I thought everything would be "fun" and "new", but it hasn't been at every moment.

3. We encountered our first sick days. A cold and fever struck the house and K ended up sick. We kept our schooling pretty loose this week but tried to keep up with some of our goals. Clearly, this probably contributed to one or more of our battles as she didn't feel 100%.

4. Then mommy ended up sick on Thursday. After laying on the sofa until 10 AM, then laying back down by 3 PM, I began to think that perhaps my child would be better off at school. Because Thursday was quite a wash. And looking back, so was much of this week.

5. Some sense of loneliness kicked in as my very dear friends are experiencing the excitement of their first child starting kindergarten. They are going through things and discussing things that I am not part of. And as a former teacher, the school environment is something I miss and somewhat wish my daughter was a part of. I think it will help when our homeschool groups begin and we are interacting with other homeschoolers during the week!

I am looking forward to next week. Our full schedule kicks in, as well as our Classical Conversations classes. I know we are on the path God has laid out for our family. I can rest securely in that.

There are days that are tough and things we have to work through. I can't say everything has gone as I hoped or expected, but God is good and next week is a new week!

My Fears

When I think about the homeschooling journey I am about to begin, I am excited! Truly, I am.


But below the surface, at different times, a variety of fears creep into my mind...


1. Boredom. What if they are bored? I mean too often. My 5 year old is ready for real games, challenges, and interaction. Being home with the family might just bore her right out of her mind. Now I realize that kids are bored at school sometimes too, but they wouldn't be whining in my house...and when she she is bored...boy does she whine. Which leads to my next concern...

2. Losing my mind. OK, so what if I begin losing my mind while at home with my kids attempting to accomplish school on top of living. Most days it is difficult to just make it through the day and get anything done, much less math, phonics, bible, and memory work. I know to take it one day at a time and to give myself some wiggle room, but I am afraid of those days that will indeed come.

3. Loneliness. Being home with kids all day can be lonely, especially when the majority of my friends aren't in the same boat. There are times I feel lonely even now. I am looking forward to meeting some other homeschooling moms who can relate. Right now I am a bit concerned about feeling lonely at times.

4. Overwhelmed. Three kids. Curriculum to accomplish. Daily tasks and chores. Rough days. Teething toddlers. Tantrums. Sick kids. Everyone home with me at all times. Enough said here.

But I try to remember to stay focused on God's plan for OUR family. I know that He will provide all that I need as I am seeking Him and doing His will.

Phil 4:19, "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."