Wednesday, July 16, 2008

My Fears

When I think about the homeschooling journey I am about to begin, I am excited! Truly, I am.

But below the surface, at different times, a variety of fears creep into my mind...

1. Boredom. What if they are bored? I mean too often. My 5 year old is ready for real games, challenges, and interaction. Being home with the family might just bore her right out of her mind. Now I realize that kids are bored at school sometimes too, but they wouldn't be whining in my house...and when she she is bored...boy does she whine. Which leads to my next concern...

2. Losing my mind. OK, so what if I begin losing my mind while at home with my kids attempting to accomplish school on top of living. Most days it is difficult to just make it through the day and get anything done, much less math, phonics, bible, and memory work. I know to take it one day at a time and to give myself some wiggle room, but I am afraid of those days that will indeed come.

3. Loneliness. Being home with kids all day can be lonely, especially when the majority of my friends aren't in the same boat. There are times I feel lonely even now. I am looking forward to meeting some other homeschooling moms who can relate. Right now I am a bit concerned about feeling lonely at times.

4. Overwhelmed. Three kids. Curriculum to accomplish. Daily tasks and chores. Rough days. Teething toddlers. Tantrums. Sick kids. Everyone home with me at all times. Enough said here.

But I try to remember to stay focused on God's plan for OUR family. I know that He will provide all that I need as I am seeking Him and doing His will.

Phil 4:19, "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."


Momma Roar said...

M - don't let those things weigh you down - you can't, you just can't.

I found myself shaking my head as I read each one - but God does give us strength.

I think another thing that might help is to think about school as part of every day life...not something separate. We eat breakfast, do school for 30 min then do laundry, back to school for 5...its just like every day stuff with your kiddos. The younger ones will learn (as long as you set guidelines and stick to them from the beginning) what they can and cannot do. If you want D to sit on your lap during schooltime, then you train him to do that. If you want him to stay in a pac n play, then you train him to do that. Maybe it would be best to figure those things out and begin practicing them in small chunks of time while you read to K??? Just suggestions.

Loneliness is a battle here too - but I'd be more lonely if I sent them - haha!

I'm just a chat box away! :)

Johanna said...

momma roar put it so well. I just want to add that, "yeah you will feel all these things. But, to me nothing is worse than the restlessness (lack of pease) that i feel when i know that i am not in GOd's will or resisting his leading. If you know he is leading you and dh has confirmed this, then STAND FIRM against the enemy attacks and fight discouragement. Press through the hard times and REJOICE when it is going good!
Excited for ya!!!!!

Lisa @ Take90West said...

You CAN do this! And it is going to be wonderful!

Monica said...

I still have fears about homeschooling. I think it's only a natural part of taking responsiblity for our children's eduacations. It's the reality in knowing that we will never get it all done or have the house clean at one time or have complete harmony in the home.

But let me encourage you that KNOWING your children through teaching them will far surpass all of these obstacles. It's an amazing moment to be a part of the day that they "get it" and can read or begin to ask deeper questions or accomplish a goal that you've both set together. It is an AMAZING blessing, not to mention that you'll get to go through school again with them and be one educated mamma. I tell you, I'm learning things about grammer that I never even knew:)!

Jennifer@DoingTheNextThing said...

Everyone above expressed themselves so well, there's not much I can add...except to say that you will experience each of these things in their turn - all homeschoolers do. But as Amy Carmichael says, "look up!" at those times to the Lord who you know called you to do this and He will give you grace for another day.